' shut up and listen.. '

Thursday, April 06, 2006

sth big happened. i nv tot how was i gna face it n deal wif it though i expected it. my heart was torn.. lost control, emotions set free.. i cldn't breathe. shivered, grabbed n embraced, i cldn't think, nothin came to me but pain.. more.. n more.. pain. cryin wasn't my intention, yet i weeped, i grieved.

for a moment it felt lik i lost myself, where's giel? who's she gna be if this was taken away? almost half my life i lived wif it.. n now, it jus seems lik it was taken away overnight.. it's all i can describe.. sometimes, it hurt so deep tt i dunno wad else to say, wad else to feel.

i thought i was in de worst place on earth facing de hardest reject ever. however fortunate, it was only for tt while. sth brought me back n saved me frm self pity.. i noe i wasn't de only one who felt de loss, de pain. u all felt it too. it was dis consolation i gave myself tt u all r still dere, always n foreva will be.. trust me i noe all of u wanna do or say sth, but u all dunno wad. jus lik me.. there's ONE thing we MUST keep in mind, some things can be left unsaid, care n concern need no word as medium. i feel de love, we are ALWAYS one.

it's hard to say, but luckily i'm typing..
my persistence ends here, my battle ends here too, battle against myself. for ppl who knew, i fought more den i thought i cld, longer den i actually wld.. i'm quite proud of myself in a way. u all noe dere's sth greater to focus on now rather den to grief wif/for me. rest assured, i'll be dere. famous quote frm Gattaca, "u lend me ur body, i lend u my dream." (actually i dun really rmb exactly wad dey said, but ya, it jus means if i can't do it, u all will do it for me.)

trust me tt someone will take care of me. god will. He has His own plans for me. everything happens for a reason n god knows why. He'll nv short change me. by dis faith, i noe i'll get over it faster, i'll jus lift all up to Him.=)

today's Life concert reminded me tt god will always be dere for me. at least it happened on de right day (next day hav Life concert), right yr (my last yr). God is still merciful. at Life concert, i felt tt He's telling me dun worry too much, jus continue working hard, studyin hard n u'll reap wad u sow.=)

Life concert's GREAT!

I LOVE JESUS!

penned at*10:37 PM