Thursday, September 15, 2005
seriously.. i think i hate PW the most in dis world. ya.. everyone hates it. but i hate it a lil more than ur max. count the number of hrs i spent on it. count the number of sleepless nights i suffered cos of it. rahh!! but it all boils down to me, myself. i hav bad time management. as in, i think NO time management at all. i still dunno how to juggle my time b/w work n slack (leisure). i jus realised germ, that play is a subset of slack.. not de other way round. so we dun call it "work n play". LOl. y am i so "busy"? cos everytime when someone reminds me to do my work i'll say "tonite". n everythin, EVERYTHIN, i'm gna do "tonite" which means dat i'll need to hav alot of tonites to do the thinigs i'm supposed to do.. wow. u think u're some super woman? hmm.. ya, i used to i was.. i used to think i cld piah everythin at one go.. but. things change n ppl change. dis sucks. i'm de one who vitiate my life, my studies.. lik, really.
everytime ard dis period.. when major exam draws near.. i feel so lousy abt myself. i see all my weakpoints. not dat i dun see it usually.. but i see ALOT more. i hate myself for being de person i am. but yet, love it at de same time. i dun hate my life. but i hate it has to be dis way now. cos it's me who made it dis way, i hav no one to blame but myself. luckily, i cant bring myself to hate myself. ha! complicated random senseless fatuous fragmented thoughts.. i dun wanna dissemble wadeva's inside, yet i cant express it well. cant blame me for not being a lit student. i dunno wad's a parady / sattire till today. thx jh.
i jus feel lik a nonenity. somehow..i'm soOo woebegone nowadays.. stop it! hahaha! ok, at least i think so.. LOl. i'm not as vociferous as maymay actually, but i.. eh!! i use vociferous! lik so damn pro can.. de word jus suddenly popped out of my mind. haha! ok, i forgot wad i wanna say aft i binged my fridge.
i need to revive 'my' vitality back.
off to continue doing written report. NOW u noe y i hate PW so much. it's 3 am in de morning, n exam is 2 weeks frm now. how great. so far, i only studied for 3 days. ok, i shall stop.. i'm too vitriolic abt pw dese few days. STOp!
tokin abt self-denial?? maybe. refuse to believe think tok blog assume guess try confront console confort cogigate abt it. ya. not now. no time. no strength. no enthusiasism. no faith. sick n tired. not of u not of dis. but of me.
