' shut up and listen.. '

Monday, August 01, 2005

"friends forever," u promised.
"together till de end."
we did everything wif each other.
u were my best fren.

when i was sad, u were by my side.
when i was scared, u felt my fear.
u were my best support--
if i needed u, u were there.

u were de greatest fren,
u owaz knew wad to say:
u made everything seem better.
as long as we had each other,
everything wld be okay.

but somewhere along de line,
we slowly came apart.
i was here, u were there,
it tore a hole in my heart.

things were changing,
our cheerful music reversed its tune.
it was lik havin salt w/o pepper,
a sun w/o its moon.

suddenly we were miles apart,
2 different ppl, wif nth de same.
it was as if we hadn't been frenz;
although we knew deep in our hearts
neither one of us was to blame.

u had made many new frenz
and luckily, so had i
but dat didn't change de hurt--
de loss of our friendship made me cry.

as we grow older, things muz change
but dey dun owaz hav to end.
even though it is diffeent, now,
u will owaz be my best fren..

I Remember Gilbert.

it's been 7 mths since i saw de light in Gil's room. Mrs blithe waved at me frm his bedrm window next door. i smiled, but inside i was numb.

i will nv forget de first day i met Gil n his mom. i was 7, n mom n dad were taking me to our new hse in de suburbs. my mother's employer transferred her, so we'd had to move n leave everything behind.

i missed my rm n my best frenz back hm. i cld not believe how my parents were torturing me. de idea of goin to a new sch was frightening. i din hav any frenz to tok to, n i did not wan to make new frenz either.

my grandparents were at de new 2-storey hse to welcome us, n i noticed a lady hugging my mother, it turned out dat mrs. Blithe was mom's best fren frm high sch n our new next-door neighbour.

mom took me to my room upstairs, n i let myself fall onto de bed. i must hav fallen aslp cos de next thing i knew, it was getting dark. de huge window in my room was open, n i cld hear loud music coming frm outside. i looked out de window, n across frm me was another window. a boy in dark clothes was lookin thru his telescope n into de glittering nite sky. right away, i noticed de white christmas lights on his ceiling.

"hi, i'm Gilbert Jim Jonathan Blithe. call me Gil." he startled me.

"i'm katherine Kennedy - Katie for short," i shouted back.

it was our beautiful beginning. i realised then n dere dat i liked dis weird neighbour of mine. Gil was like a brother to me. we spent countless hrs jus toking n tellin stories to each other. my dad put a fire escape ladder on my window. aft dat, Gil used it as an entrance to my room. funny, he nv used de front door. n he had lights on his ceiling cos de stars n planets fascinated him.

when sch started, we biked dere together. he kept me safe n held me back frm hurting myself. sometimes, i had to keep him out of trouble. aftwards, we wld go to de park n play on de monkey bars. moz of de time my family's backyard was our playground, n de big acacia tree, which had boards nailed to its trunk, held our tree house. it was home, n nobody was allowed in dere except us.

summers passed n i turned 13. Gil gave me April blossoms. then mrs. Blithe told mum n me dat Gil was sick n needed a heart transplant. when i heard dat, i was so distressed, i felt i needed one, too.

de hospital was gloomy. a white-walled prison dat had disgusting food. every day, Gil had to eat mushy-looking meals. i promised him i'd bring chocolate-covered peanuts de next day, n i knew i made him happier.

whenever Gil sensed i was anxious or abt to cry, he wld tell me to look out my bedroom window. "let de light in my room tell u i'm owaz dere," he said softly. he owaz found a way to make me smile.

aft a mth in de hospital, Gil came home. it was de 1st time i had ever been in his room, n it felt peculiar. it was unexpectedly neat. aft jumping onto his bed n throwing me a pillow, he said he missed his rm. i said i missed him more. it troubled me dat things might never be de same, but Gil was up n abt aft a couple of weeks. i knew he was all right when he climbed up to my rm n ate pizza wif me.

before we knew it, Gil n i were in high sch. sch n gals kept him occupied, but he was owaz dere. despite our jobs, we spent sunny summers together. as usual, de days hanging out wif him passed quickly. but then he got sick again.

during de 1st semester of our senior yr, Gil was taken to de hospital for de 2nd time. at 1st i tot it was a false alarm, but it was worse den i cld imagine. all i cld do was hope n pray dat he wld get better. de unlit rm across frm mine was de constant reminder of him being away. i visited him in de hospital as often as i cld, even though i nv knew wad to say. to tell him dat everything wld be all right was a fallacy, yet it comforted us both.

christmas was spent in a cold hospital rm. he was determined dat we wld go to our graduation together. i assured him we wld. i held his hand n looked into his eyes until dey stopped lookin into mine. no words were uttered; we both knew wad we were feeling. he looked peaceful when he said his last goodbye.

i locked his face at dat moment in my thoughts, but it wounded my soul. he went away even though i tried my bext to keep time frm slipping.

how cld a fren, someone who was wif me n kept me happy, be de one person who wld leave me now, forever? dere was no one now to console me.

now, as i stood looking at his bedroom window n de stars n planets on de ceiling, i knew he wld owaz be dere-- in my room, in my heart n in my memories. i wiped away de tears on my cheek, n i saw a lil boy waving at me. until dis day, i cannot figure y i cld not say "i love u" to Gil, even at de last second. maybe cos i knew he felt de same way.

i'm leaving for college soon, n i am sad he won't be dere to laugh at my jokes or comfort me when i'm blue. but because of a lil boy lookin thru a telescpoe into de infinite nite sky, i now noe dat frenship goes beyond time. i will owaz rmb Gilbert, n de light of his love tells me he's owaz dere.

damn nice story ya? haha! i was touched evrytime i read dis.. so i think i shld share it wif u all.. i'm quite emo abt frenship today.. so here's sth to share again..

hold a fren's hand thru times of trial,
let her find love thru a hug n a smile;
but also noe when it is time to let go--
for each n every one of us muz learn to grow.

no matter wad, some things will nv change.. some things will jus be etched in my heart..

penned at*5:54 PM