' shut up and listen.. '

Monday, July 11, 2005

i've learnt much more today.. aft de match against Spitfire. our last game in National league. we still hav an upcoming carvinal - Pesta Sukan carnival. (not makan sutra, maylene. stop thinkin abt food! haha!) mr teh told us dat dere're 3 of his tanglin players we appealed in thru DSA we r keen to play for sajc for Pesta Sukan carnival.. which means dat some of us hav gotta be unselected. yet, everyone is given a fair chance to work for a position in de team. we gotta prove to him dat we wanna stay as a team lidat (current team) to play for de carnival.. we gotta show it! frm now on, we're gonna work our asses out to play lik a team, work lik a team, improve as a team n show our love not only out of court, but on court as well.. yup! on top of dat, we're gna work our asses out in studies. yup! we're not gna get a life.. our lives gna be filled wif jus netball n studies, AGAIN. but dis one is a more intensive one. i wan my team to stay as a team.. i dun wish to see anyone disappointed, including myself.. haiz.. dere's so much more i wanna say.. but i cant, i dunno how..

jus a few words for all my teammates.. my beloved teammates:

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we worked hard, perhaps not enuff.. we need to put in more.. our everythin. jus hope dat econs diminishing marginal returns doesn't set in.. oops! not a time to be lame.. hahaha! honestly, aft dis year's season, i tot things gna be very diff as not many other J1s hav netball experience.. i noe i gotta be patient n at de same time, use dis time to eradicate my bad habits of throwing, driving, etc.. i tot everythin is gna start all over again. but seriously, to my surprise, de team turned out to be much betta den i expected.. i saw everyone workin so hard, dat motivated me to learn being a defender as well... moreover, a GD. wif my height. haha! i knew dat if i wan it enuff, i work for it enuff, i'll get dere.. n dat's how i feel for de team. i tot we improved very fast! but up till national league, i felt a standstill.. i dunno y. but i'm very sure dat aft dis game, things will be so much different.. perhaps, everyone is thinkin tt we still hav alot of time to train n improve ourselves. in fact, we dun. we had to stop trgs for our preparations for promo, chinese AO, PW.. n soon,trails for next yr J1s.. we hav DSA players, we hav new J1s next yr.. dat narrows each n everyone of our chance to be in de main 12, needless to say, de main 7. i've got a phobia for dis.. ppl who noe me, u noe y.. we really got no much time left.. let's jia you together, aiight? go go go!!

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a few words to a few of my teammates.. not gonna mention names, u shld noe who u r..=)

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"showing ur love not only out of court. show it in court as well." he means tt we need to help out each other more..seeing our teammates having trouble getting de ball or driving down de court, we gotta make xtra effort to drive n get de ball, to help her out, if we love her enuff. we noe u love us, we noe u din mean it when u did sth u think u shldn't hav. de minute u feel a slight guilt it shows how much we mean to u, n dat's enuff..it's ok really.. we noe how frustrating it can get.. we all noe dat.. u shld noe dat we love u enuff to forgiv such small acts too! forget abt it, dun dwell on it too much. i noe u're not very persuable (is dere such a word?), but pls trust us dat we dun mind. really. i dun, she doesn't, we dun!

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we both r at new positions. i can see dat u're tryin very hard n i noe how diff it can get, jus lik how u noe how it feels for me too.. dun let dat stress u too much baby! u gotta hav de confidence to bring it on! u noe u can do it! n it does hurt to see a fren work so hard n get herself sick or wad.. so pls do take good care of urself!! u've been dere encouraging n pushing ppl on.. but pls, at de same time take note of ur health.. thank you.=P

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i wan u to noe dat we're owaz dere for de whole team. emphasize on de 2 words : WHOLE TEAM = each n everyone in sajc netball. i noe u've got strong opinions n u do feel so much for de team.. but u seldom tell us abt it. as much as i wan to tok more to u, u dun wan to. i dunno y.. am i over sensitive or wad? but i do feel a drastic change in ur attitude towards me.. u weren't lik dis. u weren't.. n dat hurt, alot.. i noe u're feeling sth, but u're not sayin it.. i noe dere's sth which i'm totally clueless wad dat is.. but i really dun see wad i do wrg? pls let me noe, cos i treasure de frenship b/w us.. if u din noe.. r u afraid of showing n opening up? if u really wan to achieve as a team, u gotta be honest n break de wall.. frm wad i see, u sure hav much to tok to de team.. but u're not. can u tok to us abt it? it really feels much betta to hav ppl behind u. trust me. pls? i really really wanna noe wad's goin on in ur mind.. we're not who u think we r exactly.. let us in, pls..

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u shld noe wad u really wan.. i wan my fren to be happy. really.. even if it means losing u in one way or another. i dun wanna keep u n see u disappointed n sad. i wan to see de cheerful, crazy n idiotic u all de time.. u're owaz behind us n try to do wadeva u can to cheer us up. it's time i giv in sth for u.. think u shld go for it, maybe try. dun be afraid. we're owaz dere for u to fall back on.. we'll nv leave u, NEVER! dream on! hahaha! we'll haunt u foreva n make sure u wun hav peace.=P ultimately, i respect wadeva decision u make.. n will be behind u all de way..=)

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i noe dere's some changes in ur life tt's upsetting u.. but u gotta learn to let things go baby! look on de brighter side.. dun keep thinkin abt de lost.. it takes time.. but it'll take much longer if u dun put in de effort to cheer urself up.. we spend moz of de time wif u n u noe dat we're gna try all ways to make u laugh n smile lik u did before.. so dun worry baby! u lost dat, but u gain us..=)

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i noe his scoldings r a little harsh at times. i went thru much worse.. trust me, u'll nv wanna see dat. haha! i noe how u feel.. lik totally!! n if u ever feel lik cryin, jus cry k? my shoulder is owaz here for u.. i noe how it feels lik when u r jus faking a strong front in front of him.. but actually u're cryin inside. u jus wanna let out.. i'm here for u.. dun take his scolddings to heart.. it can be really frustrating for him at times.. jus dat u're unlucky, suay suay when u make mistake, he had reached his limit. haha! u'll feel much betta tellin us how u feel. de more u let wad u feel out, de betta u'll feel, de happier u'll become n closer de team gets..=) jia you!!

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u're afraid.. yet, u wanna prove urself.. fear not. i'm behind u, de whole team's behind u.. it's ok tt u make mistakes.. everyone makes mistakes! everyone!!dun dwell on dem but learn frm dem..=) dun be afraid tt cos of de few mistakes u make, u got marked down.. definitely not. u've got de potential! u stood out n improved tremendously! dun giv urself too much pressure.. we'll work hard as a team aiight??=)

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actually i still got some more to say.. but my mum's lik scodling n rushing me to bed.. so i'll stop here first..

lastly, i really care for de team n treasure de team so much so dat i wan to make things work.. i wan everyone to hav no secret dislikes for one another.. dun wan anyone to keep deir tots, fears n troubles to demselves.. wadeva is in de team, it's in de team.. no one's secret is leaked out.. we can be de best of frenz in n out of court! no fake mask, no fake smiles n true frenship.. is dat possible? u tell me..

penned at*11:57 PM